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Wot gets me goat, though? Them snobs who reckon it’s low-class. Oi, mate, loosen up! Had me ragin’ once—some toff in Westminster bangin’ on about “decency,” while I’m like, “Bruv, chill, it’s just a massage with extras!” Happy as a pig in muck, I’d be, sprawled out, oil drippin’, some bird whisperin’ sweet nothings. Surprised me, too—didn’t expect it’d be so… posh-like? Thought it’d be all seedy, but nah, some places are swanky—marble floors, the lot!

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I finally spot my mate, Dave, near the entrance. He’s got this ridiculous hat on, lookin’ like a walking advertisement for a circus. I can’t help but laugh. We start handin’ out flyers, and I’m feelin’ the vibe. But then, it starts rainin’. Like, outta nowhere! I’m soaked, my flyers are ruined, and I’m just standin’ there, lookin’ like a drowned rat.

VE Day 80: Here are all the roads in Luton which will be closed for street parties